I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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