It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
