try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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