i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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