I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
