just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my shit smells like andre
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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