.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
