He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
