STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
