Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
where are my eyebrows?
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