YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
