Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
