Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
