Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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