one two three fourrrrnication!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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