My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
