well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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