I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
