she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
