Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
