So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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