So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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