That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
