yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I had to cum in my sink.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
