i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
