If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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