i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
