Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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