it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When are your genitals available?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
