i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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