Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i've created a new STD.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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