'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
