pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
