it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
how drunk are you?
Several
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
