they need to just BURY HIM!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
