Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
