you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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