He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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