I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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