Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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