real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
