I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
