only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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