just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
