he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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