Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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