the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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