are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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