i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
