lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
